incestual

(Private)

This boy, he saw me in the woods, his name is Peter. I don't know what he was thinking, coming to me the way he did. Touching me like he knew me, saw me crying like that. Why does he even care?

He said he has problems too with school like I do.

Chris' notes are really hard to read, probably why I stopped using them. He seems preoccupied lately.

I'm counting the days on my calendar until I go home. I'm really scared. I want to be sick.

Vomit even. I did today from worry, nobody knew though. It helps when I am worrying, I don't know. I don't feel sick to my stomach.

(/private)

I managed to pass my last quiz. Hopefully, I can keep up my grades.

Maybe, I'll get lu---nevermind. I need to sleep.

(Private to self)

I got a howler from my father today, I took it into the forest so no one could hear it. Just hearing his voice makes me scared to go home, he received a progress report that he asked for. I sent him and owl explaining that it was my wand and that it is faulty and I need one.

All he could say was:

If you were a fucking real Slytherin, you'd make it work. A real descendent could make it work properly, why can't you? Useless bint.

Even thinking about it made me squeamish.

Sigh.

I saw Chris with someone today, I don't think he saw me.
(/Private)

What do you do with a howler once it's done?

( [private to self.] )

Did, uhm, anyone else get sick from dinner tonight..? Is it just me..?

Wow, it's really cold today.

[Private to Rita.]
Miss Rita,

It is nice to use me for charity but I don't think anyone will buy me. I don't have a nice face to spend money on, I think. Why did you pick me?
[/private]

[Private to self.]

I am scared no one will buy me now that I am on the auction thing, what if some muggle tries to buy me? That would be worse? What if my father hears about it? I'm scared of what will happen.

The tutoring doesn't seem to be helping, I am expecting one of those red letters any day now.

[/Private]

How is everyone....

[Private to Chris]

I was put up for auction for the Halloween party. If I get auctioned off, I can't come stay with you.

[/Private]

So...everyone goes to the ball thing?

I never been invited before, I heard going alone to a party is silly.

Maybe, I'll go hang out somewhere instead....


Anyone else not going? We could sit...I could make cookies?

Everyone seems so busy lately, dunno if I really like it or hate it yet. Eh, school is really hard, I feel like I am struggling.

I am trying a new trick, can someone help me?

I'm not good at flying on a broom.

Another year?

Eh.

I have a feeling it will be much harder than before..

( merribell gaunt )